does that look like me? Because that is what I see when I look at me.

What I mean is I see the patch across my cheeks under my eyes and my nose. One thing I really don’t see is the next picture. I have been just staring at it thinking how beautiful I was as a young adult. LOOK

You can really see how skinny I was growing up. I would say I was around 18 or close in this batch of pictures.

late forties a bit older

nighty nite

I have wanted to express myself to you many times this past year. Unfortunately much of the time my computer denied me the pleasure of posting. It seems I only write when I think I am going to throw it up on the www. World Wide Web…….

I want everyone to like me, no, love me (in their own fashion) and then at another time, I care about absolutely nothing. I do things like plan on how I will react and what I will do if I am to come down with cancer. What a waste. I learned that you can’t or at least I can’t know myself. I plan and plan. I used to think I wanted to be dead. Years and years and years of that type of thoughts then, I was a passenger in a car. The driver was reckless and I cried out, “ I don’t want to die! “. I thought I wanted to be dead? Whatthefuckever! “

Then I knew, I really want to be alive. People say I am complicated. I say I am confused and yet I know myself and I can asses others as well. I just get in my own way. Does that make sense to you?

I guess you are wondering, “What will she do if she gets cancer?”. I suppose I don’t really know. The plan is to O.D. and get it over with. I certainly will want to just that if I get chemo therapy.

I wish I could write about sex. Where is hero of my story. The one I reintroduced just a few short weeks ago. This sort of thing just kills me. I can’t process it. If I try to understand everyone else in this world that doesn’t adore me in the manner and way I see is appropriate, you know what?, then all of them are creepy, confused, arrogant, stupid (which is worse of all ) else it is me and I am nothing to shout about.

Is it me. Why did I never get loved. I am some 50 odd years old and still no one has stuck around for very long. The one that did died when he left. OMY he used to beat me on one day and another day tell me how loveable I am! Shit I was not understanding myself at all during that raging storm.

When the storm stopped it just STOPPED and it was peaceful. He was dead and all that lived for was gone. I reached out in the name of God to be perfect and what do you know? The people that take the time to worship God let me down.

I took my life out of God’s hands, as if that were possible, and I ran to Sneaky D’s: Found someone who looked much like him: and did a demolition job on my purity.

I am now a slut and as I try to consider this I always was one. Heck I was giving my boyfriend a bj at a bus stop around 4 in the morning. Did I mention I was in 7th grade? OMG shame on me. I am still just like that!

A good writer goes back over her work and edits over and over again. It is a great practice and lots of fun and very time consuming. I can’t spell or punctuate and NEVER read my posts after I post them. When I have, I thought who wrote that? I didn’t, did I?

So I want to live and I will kill myself if I get cancer and I don’t remember what I write once it is on the World Wide Web. What’s next? A SEX story. I wish.

I can’t even tell you in this blog the truth about my life. You can’t handle it. I can’t even handle it. ugh.

AND THEN THERE IS A BUNCH OF SILLY SHIT GOING ON… AND ON.. AND ON..

Like it is so easy to keep the house clean. You just pick up as you go along in your day. What a drudgery! Sometimes I do it and oft times I cancel the program all together. A few days go by and I see messes everywhere. There is dirt piling up in the crevices, the detailed areas of my life. And I attack it again but where is the verve.

People feel safe in a clean environment. What kills me under the heading of ‘silly shit’. I have always had a really nice place and provisions for my guys but very few of them put any importance on that aspect of me. OH WELL. It even got so bad with some haters on a popular website design for men who hate women/whores, that it was said that I lived trashy, which has never been true.

Well another thing they all say, “ As long as they are talking and thinking about you.” Fame is hell.

I’m tired. I wanted to write about sex and I ended up making NO sensel Bye  cute little hooker suit from the original blog on the yahoo. Yahoo ate that blog and all those stories too. But I still have the Cute Little Hooker Suit that wore on so many dates.

What is all this wanting to give yourself to somebody all about? What does it mean, ‘Honor among thieves or is it fools. What is a stupid bitch? I coined that one.

I try to practice my writing on literotica but lately I’ve been sidetracked and stale. Can I say anything you want to hear or is it just about sex? Now then if I took the sex out of me what would be left?

What could have happened that you thought you don’t need manners cause you sure expect that I should have manners! Don’t you?

We straight. As they say. We straight or is it your OK. But one thing I know for sure is I AM OK. Nothing you do, wrapped up in the essence of you changes anything about me and what I am about. Unfortunately what you do does change what I do with and about you.

Did you think about that and what, you though to your self of selves, “Whatever” It is all about ME.

You you you

What I do, I will do deliberately and not as in the Bible but instead very slowly. I got a verse for you from the Holy Bible but right now I can’t find my Bible to quote it for you.

Now back to me. The whore we all know and love. Sweet, harmless, genuine never going to be yours because in fact, this life is “All about ME”

Didn’t think I could tie that up. The bridges I burn, I burn because I don’t want anyone to cross them again. Burn bridge burn.

YOUAREWHATISAYYOUARESTUPIDBITCH

SINCEYOUSUCKSUCKTHIS

I used to think I was so fat. In this picture I can clearly see I was not fat at all. But I sure was not skinny.

OH WELL

Here I sit trying to cum up with something to say.

bye

MY texed reply? “OMG! I didn’t know I was fat! And is there something wrong with being a whore?”

There was no reply.

Here I am  52 and the things I can see and understand now. the 40’s is still young and there is a lot you wont know. 30 and under is children largely how ever I have had some wonderful youngsters.

I am not a cougar. That means I prefer younger men. No I like men 40 and up and a few exceptions. (I am a milf mother – I’d – to – fuck) but I am not a cougar.

Does that mean that I don’t do or enjoy younger men. I did say ‘a few exceptions.

THAT WAS A LITTLE ABOUT ME.

More About ME?

This is the color of my hair this week. I cut off all the black and I grew out the salt and pepper so that I could dye it blonde. But before I do I want to streak it and highlight it and frost it and well we’ll see what I come up with.

I think we can all agree that salt and pepper really doesn’t do what the black did. Yet I still h a v e to try blonde for a while then I can go back to black if I don’t like it. Let me know what you think.

But maybe I’ll get used to it.

Everyone thinks my pictures are silly but I believe happy looks sexy. OK

Do You like big butts? That is a little more about me!  OK these pictures are a few weeks old.

OMG! I didn’t know I am fat!

But is there something wrong with being a whore?

KISS THIS FAT WHORE’S ASS. Tee hee guys I had to think of a way to put this picture in my story! I know dozens of you who want to or have already.

this picture is a week old.

3 years ago.   I haven’t been a spinner since I had my baby at 26, but I do get my weight under control from time to time as you can see here.

2 years ago. What are YOU looking at?

Got to go guys

look at what he did!

and now he wants some more?

oh no not some more of that too?

Big eh?

big momo

NO now that’s big

those were better days but it hurt

Most of you have been to my condo on the golf course and you know that I have wonderful furnishing and draperies in my homes. Just cause I moved doesn’t mean I lost my style.

kitchen kitchen no rags on the windows

matching furniture set lovely lamp and chair

computer corner. I hate this corner but I need to have a place to do my writing

great comfy chair that matches the rest of the furniture and notice please the sheer curtains on the living room windows

and love seat  MY BED ROOM now then this is what I call the buttler. I bought if for you guys to put your clothes and other items which you might remove so that you can find them when it is time to go. The only thing I want you to leave here is your money and a memory

This is the bed and headboard. So just because you read a review doesn’t mean what it says is true!

I am going to try blonde before I go back to black.

Sorry if this causes any problem

it wont last long

tick tock tick tock waiting waiting waiting

Oh how will I pass the time? I am WAITING!

727 410 0794

Now that was g double O D good

think I will do it again!

WHISH YOU WERE HERE